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Let’s face it, no matter how hard we try, no one is perfect at this thing called parenting, and I have to admit that is a hard pill to swallow for this overachieving mom. Why even this week, much to my dismay, I was reminded of the fact that despite all of my BEST efforts (I even bought a book, for crying out loud), I don’t have all the answers and never will. This is not a new lesson for me, but rather it is one that I have had to learn over and over.

When I became pregnant with Emma, only on rare occasions would you see me without my nose stuck in the book What to Expect When You are Expecting, and I think I even had the book Babywise just about memorized. I was determined to be the best mom that I could be, but Emma was anything but textbook–starting with the emergency C-section and most definitely including the 7 or 8 wakings every night until she was 3 due to severe reflux. I quickly learned that all the reading and preparing that I had done ahead of time was pretty much for nothing because I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.

Perhaps one of the worst mommy-fail moments was on a concert weekend when we took Emma with us. Thankfully, my sweet mother-in-law came along to help. On the way home, Emma was very fussy. Nothing would pacify her-which wasn’t like her at all. I tried feeding her throughout the day, but all she would do was cry. I became worried that she was ill and even gave her a little Tylenol to help her feel better. To make a long story short, at the end of the day my mother-in-law figured out that her bottle was clogged. I felt so terrible! The poor little thing was starving and once she had an unclogged bottle she sure guzzled it for all she was worth!

Then, there’s the time she was sick with a really bad cold. We had a vaporizer going in her bedroom to help with all of the congestion. About forty minutes after laying her down for her nap, Robb and I both went in to check on her. As we approached her bedroom, all we could see was steam pouring out from under her door. Robb quickly opened the door to find that the steam was so thick we literally couldn’t even see her crib. I don’t know if it was from my lack of sleep or my overzealousness in wanting to help her stuffy nose, but when I laid Emma down for her nap I guess I got a little crazy with the salt in the vaporizer. Let’s just say her hair was very curly and her skin was very hydrated after that nap!

I could go on and on with more stories of my imperfections as a mom, but I’m learning that it is a constant process of completely relying on God to help me as I teach and train her little heart. I also have found that just when I think I have things figured out, we enter a whole new stage with all kinds of new lessons for both of us. For example, the stage we are now entering of navigating through the social issues of our culture, explaining changes in her body, and dealing with rejection from other girls is probably the most daunting and overwhelming stage yet. But I am finding that God is using this whole process to TEACH ME and to DRAW ME close to Him. The last thing I ever want to do is to fail at the most important assignment God has given me. I only get one shot at this thing of being a mom, so the only way to do it well it to recognize that I can’t do it on my own. I need God every single day to lead me and guide me so that I can help my daughter learn to do the same.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

And lean not unto your own understanding.

In all your ways, acknowledge Him

And He shall direct thy paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Lord Jesus, I don’t always get everything right being a mom. There are nights when I go to bed thinking through everything I have said or done, wondering if it could have been done better. Help me, Lord, to not be so obsessed with perfection, but rather to seek You every day and allow You to direct my words, my thoughts, and all my interactions with this precious gift you have given me. And may You continue to use even the imperfect moments to remind me that I may not have it all together, but You do and that is EVERYTHING we need.


I love the holidays…every single part of it. From the baking to the decorating to the time spent with those I love—it all brings such joy to my heart and means so much to me. But I am realizing this year that as wonderful as the holiday season is, it can also be another reminder of how life has changed forever after the loss of a loved one.

This week marks 2 months since the death of my brother. I have to say that it still doesn’t seem real and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about him and miss him. And tomorrow will be no exception. Especially tomorrow. We always talked on Thanksgiving morning. So I already know tomorrow will not be the same. Nothing is ever the same when you lose someone you love.

But one thing that has ministered to me in such a powerful way over these last few weeks and keeps reverberating in my mind is something that I believe God spoke into my heart on the way home from the funeral. As I looked out of the airplane window at the clouds that day and began processing all that had happened, words came spilling out of me. I quickly grabbed my iPad and typed them out as fast as I could before the moment was gone.

Once I was home, I found that sitting down at my piano and singing these words often turned my tears into thankfulness. Thankfulness that my brother no longer has any struggles but is now with Jesus and is truly happy, whole, and free. When I think of it where he is now- how could I ever want anything different for him?

So, yes, tomorrow will be different in some ways but yet the same in other ways. I will get up and spend my day with those I love and I will give thanks for SO many things- for life, for family, for health, for Jesus, and especially for the HOPE of Heaven and ALL that awaits me there.

And if like me, you have recently lost a loved one, I pray this song will encourage your heart as it has mine. I assure you I am not an avid songwriter, I’m most definitely not an accomplished pianist, and I am absolutely not a fan of being videotaped, but if this can help just one person it is worth stepping out of my comfort zone and sharing from my heart. My prayer is that God will cover hurting hearts with His comfort and strength and that He will give peace that only He can give to those facing the holidays without someone they love.



It wasn’t supposed to be this way

So many dreams have slipped away

How I long to hear your voice

And I long to see your face

But in my heart I know you’re in a better place.

You’re free from the sorrow, free from the pain

Free from the hurt and free from the shame

Free from the worry, free from the past

In the arms of Jesus,

You’re free at last.

So when I’m struggling to let go

I’m gonna cling to what I know

Gone away are your struggles

You are happy and set free

And I know without a doubt

There’s no place you’d rather be.

You’re free from the sorrow, free from the pain

Free from the hurt and free from the shame

Free from the worry, free from the past

In the arms of Jesus,

You’re free at last.

I know you’re walking golden streets

And you’re sitting at His feet

He has wiped your tears away

And I know you’ve heard Him say:

You’re, free from the sorrow, free from the pain

Free from the hurt and free from the shame

Free from the worry, free from the past

In the arms of Jesus,

You’re free at last.

  • Carol Leach - Dear Paula,

    I’m just one of a long line of those whose lives you have touched in a precious and wonderful way. A few years ago, I picked you up at the airport for an Amway function and had the privilege of meeting you personally. Heartfelt thanks for all that you do to reach out, with God’s Love, to so many over and over and over again. What an encouragement you are!

    At the urging and encouragement of others, I’m currently working on a book of poetry, sifting through years of prayer journals, to glean what I can that may be of value to others. Thank you again for being one who ‘shines’ as a beacon in being willing to risk all in serving Him.

    Whatever things on earth there be
    That, through Your glorious, loving hand
    And abundance, come to me,
    Help me to know and understand

    To recognize and apprehend
    The groanings deeper than my heart
    Arrayed, in Love, to heal, to mend
    What darkened life has torn apart.
    (Philippians 3:13-14)

    © Carol KC Leach 12/11/2014ReplyCancel


As many of you know, last week was perhaps the hardest week of my life. What was supposed to have been a fun birthday week with family and friends, including a much anticipated out of town trip with my daughter, took a FAR different turn than I could have ever dreamed possible when I received a phone call that turned my world upside down. A phone call from an emergency room worker at a hospital who told me that my brother had been in a serious car accident and was not expected to make it and strongly urged me to get there as soon as possible. I hung up the phone in disbelief as tears filled my eyes. How could this have happened? I had just spoken with him the week before and we had such an incredible conversation. How could he not make it?

I raced home and quickly made travel arrangements and threw a few things in a suitcase and frantically headed to the airport.

All the way there, I prayed. I prayed for a miracle for Bobby. I prayed for comfort and strength for the family. And I prayed that God would walk with me into that hospital room because I was so devastated and unsure of how I would handle the pain of seeing him on life support.

From the moment I had received the call, it felt like a bad dream—one that I had desperately hoped from which I awaken. However, the moment I saw him lying there in the hospital bed with all of the machines surrounding him, it was no longer a dream but a horrific reality and one that I knew had an inevitable ending.

The next two days blurred together as Bobby began to slip away and the time came to say goodbye. My heart was broken. How was I supposed to say goodbye to someone whom I had loved and prayed for my entire life?

As I held my brother’s hand and saw his face for the last time, I can only describe it as God’s presence and His peace surrounding me. In the middle of my pain, God reached down and gave me the strength, the courage, and the comfort to carry on—to carry on in planning a funeral and even to carry on in singing at his funeral which was the hardest thing I have ever done. Through it all, God so lovingly reminded me that:

In our most desperate moments, God sees, He cares, and He is with us every step of the way.


Today marks a week since my brother passed away. There’s so much that I am still processing from the last 9 days. But here’s a few things I’ve been thinking about quite a bit:

  • Life isn’t guaranteed.  None of us are promised tomorrow that is why it is so important to know where we stand with God today. I’m so thankful that I know without a doubt that my brother is in Heaven with Jesus. I know this because he prayed and confessed his sin and asked Jesus into his life to be his Savior. Was his life perfect? No. None of us are perfect. It’s not about being a good person, going to church, or trying to earn our way to Heaven. It is only through having a personal relationship with Jesus that assures us of going to Heaven when we die. And what comfort it brings my heart to know that because Bobby had a personal relationship with Jesus that I will see him again someday!
  • Live with no regrets.  Another thing that I am so grateful for is that as I think about my relationship with my brother, I do not have a single regret. I always tried to be there for him, encourage him, and cheer him on. His very sudden and unexpected death wouldn’t have given me any time to fix things had there been problems or missed opportunities. It just completely reminds my heart to not leave anything unsaid or undone and to savor every moment I have with those around me.
  • Look for the good.  It’s hard to find any good at such a heart wrenching time, but one thing I will always cherish is the fact that 9 people accepted Jesus as their Savior at my brother’s funeral. Those 9 people now know Jesus and have settled where they will spend eternity when they die. What an incredible legacy…one that Bobby would be so proud of.
  • Let go of the pain.  One of the most difficult things over this last week is trying to figure out what to do with the pain. It comes in waves. One moment I am fine and the next moment something reminds me of him and sadness fills my heart. But I’m finding when I think about him being in Heaven where there is no pain, no tears, no sickness, no struggles, and no death I find great comfort and strength and can start letting go of the pain. The truth is my brother had a very hard life full of heartache and struggles and what keeps coming to my heart now is that he is finally free!

On our flight home my daughter looked out the window and took a picture of the clouds. As I looked at these clouds and thought of Bobby, I truly believe God spoke these words into my heart:

He’s free from the sorrow, free from the pain

Free from the hurt, free from the shame

Free from the worry, free from the past

In the arms of Jesus

Free at last.

So, Bobby, you walk those streets of gold. You enjoy every moment in Heaven with Jesus. You celebrate that there’s no more pain from the past because you are FREE AT LAST! I love you always and look forward to the day when I will see you again!


14462715_10154082826734296_6934213490550544374_nRobert Dunn III

June 17, 1970- September 22, 2016

  • Linda Porter - My thoughts and continued prayers for you and family. I trust you received my message on your Facebook internal messaging Paula. Let me know if you didn’t. Love, prayers, hugs.ReplyCancel

  • CAROL LEACH - AMWAY - Hi Paula. I’m weeping with you. Sudden shock and dramatic life changes vex us to the very core of who we are. What would we EVER do without JESUS? Praying that you will experience the peace that passes understanding as you fix your mind and heart on Jesus Christ, the Living Word – the One who knew every one of Bobby’s days before there was yet one of them!

    I’m inspired – yet again – by your loving, trusting faith.

    Thank you for sharing your personal pain.

    My spirit reaches out for yours in love – as in the Family of God, spirit calls to spirit.

    (I once picked you up at the airport for a function – feels like forever ago)ReplyCancel

  • Laurie - My precious, selfless, loving Paula,
    You gave your life to Jesus so long ago, and you’ve allowed Him to use your physical body, your salvation, your time, your talents, your blessings, and now your tears. Bobby knew your love on this earth, and now he gets to know perfect love because of Christ. Can you see him now? “Just think of stepping on shore and finding it heaven, of touching a hand and finding it God’s, of breathing new air and finding it celestial, of waking up in glory and finding it home!” He’s there, in part, because of your beautiful love and witness of Christ. You will hold his hand again, my friend. I love you, and I’m enormously sorry for this present grief and profound sadness.ReplyCancel


Every day we make choices. We choose whether to get out of bed, what to wear, what we will eat, which activities we will participate in, and how we will respond to others, just to name a few. However, upon closer examination and just under the surface of all of our actions lie the murky waters of what we believe—what we believe about ourselves, about other people, and about the world we live in. These fundamental thoughts hold the power to either unlock the proper mindset needed to keep us moving toward our dreams or to stop us dead in our tracks.

Have you ever thought about how your thoughts impact your dreams? Have you ever considered the domino effect of how your dreams then affect your actions, which in turn determines your future and ultimately defines your destiny?

There is a direct correlation between how we view ourselves and how we live out the dreams God has called us to. Proverbs 23:7 says, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Essentially, you are what you think.

Let’s face it: we live in a very negative world that focuses on what’s wrong, what’s ugly, what hurts, and what can’t be done. But if you take time to observe successful people, you will see that most are positive and enthusiastic. I don’t think you will find them obsessed with negativity and what they can’t accomplish. Quite contrarily, successful people know who they are and are comfortable in their own skin. How much more should we as Christians have confidence in living out our dreams? After all, we have God abiding in us and working through us. What more could we ever need?

Here’s the key to relinquishing our insecurities and embracing a healthy confidence—knowing it’s not about WHO we are and it’s all about WHOSE we are. Knowing who we are in Christ is powerful, for it can break the bonds of insecurity, fear, and even failure, which often hold us captive and keep us from attaining our dreams.

If you look at Proverbs 31, you will see a woman who knew who she was and had the confidence to live it out. You don’t have to read very far to be even a little envious of this industrious lady! Everything she had her hand in turned out to be successful! Her family revered her and called her blessed; her husband praised her; and she was known all throughout the city for her impeccable integrity and her undeniable accomplishments. What I find interesting is that not once do you read about her second guessing herself, questioning her giftedness, or giving up in defeat. Not, it is quite the contrary. This woman never stopped using what God had given her to live out what He had called her to.

All throughout the chapter, this amazing woman selects wool, works with willing hands, brings her food from afar, rises while it is night, provides food for her household, evaluates and buys a field, plants a vineyard with her earnings, draws on her strength, knows that her merchandise is good, extends her hand to the spinning staff, reaches out to the poor and needy, is not afraid for her household, makes bed coverings and clothing in fine linens, sells garments in the city, delivers belts to the merchants, opens her mouth with wisdom and instructions, and watches over the activities of her household. How does one woman accomplish all of this? She accomplishes all of this because she doesn’t waste time standing around wringing her hands on what she does or does not have; instead, she is confident in how God made her, how He gifted her, and how He will use her.

Imagine if we really embraced the fact that we are children of the King. I have a feeling we would think, believe, and live differently. Everything rides on finding our confidence in Him, so it is so important to nail it down in our hearts once and for all and apply it to our thoughts each day.

The reality is at some point we can all struggle with negative thoughts and the lies the enemy sends our way. And I think it is important to remember that just because we have a thought doesn’t mean that it is true or that it has to stay in our minds. We have a choice of what we choose to dwell on and what we choose to discard. Here are some ways to change our unhealthy thoughts:

  • Recognize unhealthy thoughts using Scripture as our standard.

Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise—think on these things.  ~Philippians 4:8

  • Choose to Replace the lies we believe with the truth.

Since God’s Word is the source of all truth, that is where we must go to replace the unhealthy thoughts that have wallpapered our minds.

  • Choose to Repeat the truth.

None of us became the way we are overnight, so it is going to take time and practice before we can experience real change.

  • Choose to Repeal negative self-talk.

When we tell ourselves that we can’t do something, at that moment, we are probably right because we have already made the decision that we can’t. Instead of telling ourselves we can’t, we can replace that internal dialogue with Philippians 4:13 which says, “I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Here is a resource from with some common self-defeating thoughts we often tell ourselves and some verses to refute them. I absolutely love this:


  • Choose to GUARD your mind.

When was the last time you took an inventory of your thoughts and beliefs? This is so important for all of us to do, for even when we are firmly grounded we can let our guard down and before long have our thoughts go awry.

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” I Peter 5:8.

Although our enemy doesn’t hunt us down physically as a lion would, I believe he is ruthless and ferocious in how he attacks our minds. Just as he planted the seeds of doubt and uncertainty in Eve’s mind in the Garden of Eden, he still works overtime doing the same to us today. It is his mission to infiltrate our thoughts and cause us to question, doubt, and give up on our dreams. In doing so, we are stuck on the sidelines and kept from all that God has for us.

Now, don’t think for a second I am ending this blog with us fearing lions and flaming darts of Satan. Here’s what we must never lose sight of no matter what the enemy tries to bring our way: We already have the victory in Jesus Christ our Lord!

“Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.” I John 4:4

So, the next time your thoughts threaten to submerge you and keep your dreams at bay, hold your head high and choose to believe who you are in Christ. Here’s what you can hang on to: You are created in God’s image, you are His child, and He loves you fiercely and has a phenomenal plan for your life.

Let this be your mindset and let this be your mantra—God is for you! He is for you when you feel unworthy! He is for you when you struggle to believe! He is for you when you doubt your future! He is for you when you want to give up on your dream! So, let go of negativity and the thoughts that hold you back, and boldly chase the dreams that God has placed in your heart! The future ahead is bright for those who know who they are and who make the choice to be positive and believe!

*Most of Today’s Blog is taken from Dare to Soar, 75-87. Dare to Soar is available at,,, and iTunes.





If I had to pick a favorite song that I have ever had the privilege to record, this song would be at the top of the list. The words are such an incredible reminder to me of the HOPE and the POWER that is found in Jesus…a message that I need every single day, especially today.

After the horrific attacks of terrorism this week, my heart is broken for all of mankind. How we need the message of Easter more than ever to remind us that no matter what is going in our lives or in the world around us, the goodness and the power of the cross will never change and is the only thing that can heal and change lives.

So on this Good Friday morning, I bring my weary heart to Jesus and find that by doing so I can’t help but do the following:

Be Thankful for the Cross.

Rejoice that He’s Alive.

Grab on to the HOPE and the POWER that is found in Jesus.


The Name of Jesus is the answer to our soul’s distress.

The Hand of Jesus is the touch that fills our emptiness.

Oh, He’s here. Oh, He’s here with us.

So come and lay your burdens down before the throne where hope is found and call upon The Name of Jesus.

Your brokenness and offering of sweet surrender to the King.

There’s Power in The Name of Jesus.

The Name of Jesus is the peace that calms our troubled hearts.

The Love of Jesus is the freedom to come as we are.

Oh, He’s here. Oh, He’s here with us.

So come and lay your burdens down before the throne where hope is found and call upon The Name of Jesus.

Your brokenness and offering of sweet surrender to the King.

There’s Power in The Name of Jesus.

The cross of Jesus bore our weakness covered all our sin.

He is Risen. We’re forgiven. Forever alive in Him.

So come and lay your burdens down before the throne where hope is found and call upon the Name of Jesus.

Your brokenness and offering of sweet surrender to the King.

There’s Power in The Name of Jesus.

Words & Music by Shelly Johnson and Michael Boggs. 2010 McKinney Music, Inc. (BMI) (Admin. by Music Services)/Upsurge Music, LLC (ASCAP) (admin by All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.

The Name of Jesus is available at or ITunes.